QUEERS

Page 1     Page 2

What's new

powered by FreeFind

Site map

A queer goes to get a tattoo. He says to the artist, "I want Lennox Lewis on one buttock and Mike Tyson on the other."

The work is done and the queer is delighted. He rushes home to show his partner. Dropping his trousers he bares his ass and says to his partner, "What do you think of this"

His partner stares in disbelief and then says, "There is no way I'm going in the ring between those two..."

Click to enlarge.

All human wisdom is summed up in two words: Wait and Hope. ~ Alexandre Dumas ~

HELL FREEZES OVER

A gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in. After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious.

"If you do that again, you'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."

After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass of.

"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Pete asks.

"Well you just try bending down for firewood!!" the devil replied.

A man walked into a public men's room. His arms are held awkwardly out to his sides, forearms hanging limply, fingers spread apart. He approached another man and asked, "Excuse me, but could you please unzip my fly?"

The second fellow was embarrassed, but felt sorry for the stranger, who appeared to be crippled. He thought how humiliating it must be to have to ask for help for something like this, so he complied, unzip-ping the first man's pants.

Next, the man asked him to hold his penis while he peed. The second guy is even more embarrassed, but does as he was asked.

Finally, the first guy finished, and the second man started to put his penis back in his pants.

"Oh, I can take care of that," the first man said, blowing on his fingers. "I think my nails are dry now."

"Life is a tragedy for those who feel; and a comedy for those who think." ~ Chinese Proverb ~

DANCING

Did you hear about the two gay guys that where dancing when one said to the other, "Why do you always get an erection when we dance together?"

The other replied, "Because you dance like an asshole!"

The firemen finally get a huge fire under control, and Chief Mattea has all of his men accounted for except Olson and Rosolino. After a few minutes' search, the chief looks down an alley, and there's Rosolino, leaning over a trash can. His pants are down to his ankles, and Olson is fucking him in the ass.

Chief Mattea says, "What the hell is going on?"

Olson says, "Rosolino passed out from smoke inhalation."

The chief says, "Smoke inhalation? You're supposed to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!"

Olson says, "I did, Chief. That's how this shit got started."

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. ~ Erica Jong ~

SPORTS

Three gays were discussing what they thought their favorite sport would be. The first decides on football, 'cause of all those gorgeous guys bending over in their tight pants.

"Definitely wrestling," sighs the second guy. "Those skimpy little costumes, and think of the holds."

"Definitely baseball," says the third guy. "Why? Well, I'd be pitching with the bases loaded, the batter would hit a line drive right to me, I'd catch it, and I'd just stand there while the other guys rounded the bases. Meanwhile the crowd would be going crazy, screaming, 'Throw the ball, you cocksucker!' and that's what I like - the recognition."

Two gay men walking down the beach...they come upon a beautiful nubile girl in a thong bikini. One says to the other one... oh my, will you look at that! It's times like these that I wish I was a lesbian.

There once was a race between a pair of lesbians and a pair of gay men.

Guess who won?

The lesbians.

They could do 69 lickity-split, while the men were still at the starting line packing shit.